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on 2007/9/6 23:54:30
Movie makers in Mumbai are now so petrified of being slapped with a lawsuit from Beverly Hills that they're going into convulsions of explanation about the antecedents of their products.
"So much for setting the screen on fire. The only one who got burnt is me…I guess I was looking for it." Two days after the release of Sholay, a.k.a Aag the purveyor of this supposed national catastrophe, is slightly flummoxed but unfazed .
An SMS doing the rounds suggests Varma should take directorial lessons from his erstwhile protégés Madhur Bhandarkar and Shimit Amin. Tch tch…I really can't understand why the public outcry against Aag is so shrill and malevolent ?
Is Aag the first unlikeable remake? Is it really the worst film ever made in Bollywood? Trial by media? You bet! Designer-whips , anyone? Come on guys, wake up and smell the cocaine. The pollution of derivative excesses is everywhere .
I wish someone would make a law prohibiting filmmakers from touching movies, specially the classics, and also Hollywood films. Movie makers in Mumbai are now so petrified of being slapped with a lawsuit from Beverly Hills that they're going into convulsions of explanation about the antecedents of their products. After the makers of Hitch threatened to sue David Dhawan's Partner for unauthorised appropriation , Sajid Khan quickly got wise. To avoid any 'Hitch-cola ' he came up with this story about a philandering commitmentcontemptuous college-friend to support the originality claims of Heyy Babyy, his version of Three Men & A Baby. And for enhanced luck he added two extra y's to his title.
Gosh, what a y's guy Sajid turned out to be! While he's laughing all the way to his favourite Swiss account, poor Ramu doesn't know what hit him. Certainly not a hit, for sure. If only he had pretended that he wasn't remaking Sholay. In fact Aag is as much Sholay as I Love You Rosa was a religious film. So, remaining quiet about your antecedents is as important a means to survival as silicone is to oomphing it up in your average item song.
That brings me to the other rather odd showbiz shindig of the week… Rakhi Sawant's diminished vital statistics. She has promised to let the cat out of the bag at an appropriate time. But the debate raged over the week. Did she or didn't she get herself de-siliconed so she could dance without being weighed down by unwanted burdens? The Hyderbad bomb blasts just had to take a backseat to this new-age 'small scream' version of Mere Mehboob .
Like it or not Rakhi Sawant is a bhendi-bazaar icon. They're currently shooting a film in Bangkok where starlet Aarti Chabria plays an item girl named Sawant. But rumours about Rakhi playing a bar girl who contests elections and wins by a landslide majority in a film called Aaya Sawant Jhoom Ke is totally untrue. So far. Since Satish Kaushik is directing a new version of Karz (will it be called Karz Of The Mummy?) I've been humming Ek Kareena thi ek deewana tha. How much that guy Shahid loves this girl.
And how much stability he has brought into her life. Believe me, I know. I've seen them together. I've seen the way Shahid looks at Kareena . It's with that potent mixture of the three Ps: pleasure , pride and protectiveness that constitutes true love. I've seen Kareena in love more than once. But not the way she is with Shahid. After she was fully and certifiably in love with Shahid, she changed herself, mellow-down , turned vegetarian and started practising yoga, all for the sake of love. I've never seen a girl more willing to mould herself for her soul-mate .
When I met them together for the first time, all they did was stare at one another while I sat there looking on with benign affection at my most favourite couple in the film industry. Most favourite, because I never got to see Abhishek and Aishwarya together until their marriage. I don't think Abhishek expressed his love for his loved one in front of any of his friends. In that sense he's an acutely private person.
Shahid and Kareena , on the other hand, never hid their feelings…at least not from me. From the time Kareena sought out Shahid's mobile number to the time she made that first call, and onwards…she's one girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. She adopted Shahid's family although his mom, I feel, never accepted her. I refuse to believe my favourite love story in the film industry is over.
I'll believe, it is through only when Kareena tells me so. So far she hasn't . And I'll wait for her not to. As far as I am concerned Shahid and Kareena are still a couple. I wonder what Shahid must be going through in Canada where he's been shooting Aziz Mirza's new romantic comedy with Vidya Balan for the last one month.
At a time when so much uncoupling is happening in Bollywood I wonder why we are so eager to see loved ones going their separate ways. Is it because breakups make more news than 'together' stories ?
While Bipasha was frantically trying to mend her bonding with John, a section of press was preparing obituaries for their relationship. It reminded me of when Hrishikesh Mukherjee was on his death bed. I was asked by a tabloid to write an obituary.
"But he isn't dead!" I protested . "Oh, isn't he?" the bored and tired editor was openly disappointed. "Oh damn, now I'll have to find something else at this hour." I am not sure if she was joking. But the carcass of a dead relationship is the biggest turn-on in showbiz. "We want to know if Shahid and Kareena have broken up," the BBC radio-jockey leaned over to ask me last week. I didn't have the heart to answer that. Does Kareena?
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